A Word Of Advice...

...to that poor guy on the blind date at the Bohemian on Friday night.

#1 Don't agressively LOOK for your date. You've obviously set up a time and place to meet. It's fine if she's a little late. But rushing out the front door of the restaurant every five minutes and looking down the parking lot, then looking down the street, then hurrying back inside sets you on a path of desperation that is hard to break out of once she shows up.

#2 Once she shows up, wait patiently for her to walk inside and greet her calmly with a nice smile and maybe a hug or a handshake. Do not rush out the front door, stand there and analyze the woman who gets out of the car and holler a 'nice to meet you' to her as she walks through the parking lot.

#3 The glasses that take up thrity three and a third percent of your face should have been left in the early to mid-eighties.

#4 Long sleeve green plaid flannel shirts aren't real stylish - especially in September.

#5 Don't start out the conversation with the woman who you just met with a long explanation of what you are looking for in a relationship. You must let these discussions develop and breathe. Then don't tell stories about 'this one girl that I dated once...' She doesn't care. She doesn't want to hear it. Stop watching "Blind Date" on TV to get conversation ideas. That show is full of losers.

#6 Do not react with aggressive incredulity when she reveals she has never dined at your chosen restaurant. A simple, calm "Oh, I really like it because..." might be more appropriate.

#7 And really, most importantly, do not ever, ever unfold her Match.com profile page (complete with picture) that you printed off the computer and set it on the table where other patrons can see it. And then use it as a reference page for questions...Especially when she groans as you pull it out. Bad move. But you had already ruined your chances for with her by then anyway.

Please take heed. You should have a better grip on reality and interacting with other adults by the time you reach your mid-forties.

Now I don't claim to be a ladies man. I had a hard time dating myself. But I certainly had a few things figured out. Come on!!

Good Luck with everything.