Vomit Comet

No! Not that plane that astronauts train in zero-gee. I just like rhyming today.

At my work a few of the Saturday crew started a tradition of barbecuing after the 5PM show. It’s the usual bbq fare: hot dogs hamburgers, the occasional steak. My shift ends before they start cooking so I always just head home.

Yesterday I get back from a late shoot and everyone is already out there eating fajitas. Some sort of seis de mayo celebration I guess. Since I’m there, I help myself to a chicken fajita – damn good! – some ‘several’ layer dip and guacamole – all good stuff.

"OK, see ya, bye."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My dog woofs at something in the middle of the night. I look at the clock and it’s a little bit after 4AM. The dog barking doesn’t bother me – it’s the rolling and grumbling coming from my belly.

I know the feeling – I know what’s coming – I also know that it’s going to be a while before anything happens. The juices still need to ferment.

The next coupe hours are spent dozing, waking up in a feverish sweat, and listening to my stomach churn. As we approach 7AM I know that it’s time.

Blue, plastic garbage can in hand I go sit on the toilet. Everything is primed. I just can’t tell which end it’s coming out of.

The only thing out of the backside is air. And it is the foulest, most-wretched thing I have ever smelt! My god! What the hell died up there?

I have never thrown up from odor before but in this situation it was the catalyst I needed. I ducked out of the bathroom and technicolor yawned into the garbage can.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Most of my day has been spent cyclically repeating this every couple of hours. Bleh!

The worst part is that I’ve now wasted my entire day off. I’ll happily be sick during the week when I can miss work but it’s a nice day and there are a lot more things I’d rather be doing.. This sucks!

Damn you seis de mayo fajitas!!

By the way, Pepto Bismol now is cherry flavored. And it has a cherry flavored aftertaste. Give me chalk-flavored any day.