More About My Dog...

...Hey. I don't have kids yet, OK?



This video is what results after an afternoon alone with the dog, a room full of video gear, and boredom.

After swinging the dog around for a while, I wondered if I could get a bunch of viewers on YouTube. Kinda like the dog that chases the laser pointer. So pass this on to everyone you know whether you like it or not!!

Aww. Actually you don't have to.

Crap Machine

Yep, That Sweet Face Is What I'm Talkin' About.

"Why'd you eat the cake?!!!"

*confused stare*

I hadn't eaten the cake. I hadn't even looked at the cake yet.

"I didn't"

"Why did you slice into Scot's birhtday cake?!!!"

*continued confused stare, moving to irritation* why am I being yelled at*

"I didn't"

"You ate a huge slice! Of all the treats I brought home you have to eat the cake!!!"

*She walks up to the cake and fully opens the lid*

"I DIDN'T EAT THE CAKE"

"WELL THEN WHO DID?!?"

*She sees the chocolatey paw print on the stove next to the cake* anger shifts from me to the

dog* Whew!

"GINGERR!!!!"

*wheww, again*

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Ginger rarely (it used to be never) counter surfs.

However, during a period of 15 minutes - while we were both home - she surfed, made her kill and returned to her bed only to lie there innocently.

Dogs aren't designed to eat large amounts of carbs or sugars. They are carnivores. They eat meat. Their digestive systems digest protein (and grass and bugs and the insides of stuffed animals - only not so well).

Anyway, once Ginger started to pass one-third of a large expensive and a damn tasty birthday cake, her digestive system revolted.

Over a period of time of about 10 hours, she pooped maybe 7 or 8 times. Lucky for her it was during the night so we could let her outside. Unlucky for me, I got to be awoken every 90 minutes to "eeeEEeee." "eeEEEEee." "EEEEeeEEEE!!"

She'd trot out and do number 2 once or twice. About 8AM she had finally purged her system of gooey choclatey goodness and was exhausted. She left me alone the rest of the morning so I could nap. That was nice of her.

"Choked On My Own Saliva"

Was one of the more poignant comments left for this blog entry.

Freakin' Hilarious!

Listening to the Chinese speak Chinese is funny enough.

I'm going to Beijing for the Olympics for some 'Man fruit braise the north almond'

Yum!

Thanks to Maggies's blog for the link.

Weeeds*

I'm not talking about your garden variety weeds, the ones that strangle and choke your flowers or pop up through the grass and go to seed in about 2 hours. I'm talking about the ones that grow along the freeway or in empty dirt lots.

Sometimes it's scraggly stuff - no leaves, no flowers, no color - just kind of grayish-brown things that don't amount to much. Sometimes it's thick, course green things that are kind of prickly on the outside.

Around here in late summer we get these bright yellow sunflowers – whole fields full of them. They line sections of the freeway. They grow down by the river. These pictures were taken behind a gas station while I stopped for a bathroom break at work.

In the dusty brown of the high desert in Utah, it makes for nice little moments during what are normally routine parts of the day.

* The wacky extra 'E's in the spelling of weeds is in reference to an old Saturday Night Live sketch. Bonus points to anyone who gets it.

Been Helpin' My Wife Start A Blog...

My beautiful wife Erica is slowly catching up with modern times. She was encouraged at work to start a blog and drive listeners to the station web site (she is a disc jockey on a local radio station). As an incentive, the company is giving out cash awards to those who get the most increase in traffic and have the most creative blogs.

I've helped her get started and taught her a few things about creating entries and uploading pictures. Mostly it's very similar to the blogspot template. So most of my blogging time as of late has been spent getting things on her site. So if you are interested in my wife's views on things, give her a try here:

Erica's Life

I also shot and edited a behind-the-scenes video at her latest play. You can check it out here:

Mr. Show Quote of the Week

"I thought that my home was my castle - With no one scrutinizing me.

No pigs, no lyin' bitch, no hassle.

Y'all are brutalizing' me."

"Can't a man not drink his beer in silence?

Can't a man not crudely lie and scream?

Can't a man not control his bitch with violence?

Y'all are brutalizin' me.

Y'all are brutalizin' meeeee."

-Ronnie Dobbs

A Word Of Advice...

...to that poor guy on the blind date at the Bohemian on Friday night.

#1 Don't agressively LOOK for your date. You've obviously set up a time and place to meet. It's fine if she's a little late. But rushing out the front door of the restaurant every five minutes and looking down the parking lot, then looking down the street, then hurrying back inside sets you on a path of desperation that is hard to break out of once she shows up.

#2 Once she shows up, wait patiently for her to walk inside and greet her calmly with a nice smile and maybe a hug or a handshake. Do not rush out the front door, stand there and analyze the woman who gets out of the car and holler a 'nice to meet you' to her as she walks through the parking lot.

#3 The glasses that take up thrity three and a third percent of your face should have been left in the early to mid-eighties.

#4 Long sleeve green plaid flannel shirts aren't real stylish - especially in September.

#5 Don't start out the conversation with the woman who you just met with a long explanation of what you are looking for in a relationship. You must let these discussions develop and breathe. Then don't tell stories about 'this one girl that I dated once...' She doesn't care. She doesn't want to hear it. Stop watching "Blind Date" on TV to get conversation ideas. That show is full of losers.

#6 Do not react with aggressive incredulity when she reveals she has never dined at your chosen restaurant. A simple, calm "Oh, I really like it because..." might be more appropriate.

#7 And really, most importantly, do not ever, ever unfold her Match.com profile page (complete with picture) that you printed off the computer and set it on the table where other patrons can see it. And then use it as a reference page for questions...Especially when she groans as you pull it out. Bad move. But you had already ruined your chances for with her by then anyway.

Please take heed. You should have a better grip on reality and interacting with other adults by the time you reach your mid-forties.

Now I don't claim to be a ladies man. I had a hard time dating myself. But I certainly had a few things figured out. Come on!!

Good Luck with everything.